S. A. Post (staat) wrote,
S. A. Post
staat

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So, yesterday I went and sat on a boat on the river with some of my friends. Pretty much everyone got drunk but me, off of gin, cheap beer, and a knock off of Captain Morgan's: Admiral Nelson's. The guy who bought the booze figured it must be better, as admiral outranks captain. Apparently it was good. One of my friends, 5'5 or so and probably pushing 100 lbs. who'd never drank anything in his life got smashed after doing about 6 shots. We managed to convince him that if he drank some "medicine" he'd get better. Of course, this was beer, but he believed me when I told him that it distinctly said on the can "Surgeon General's Warning: this is medicine." When I left around two or three, he puked a couple times and was trying to sleep with people writing stuff on his back with a sharpie. Other than him dropping beer cans constantly, he's no different drunk than he is sober.

We went swimming around naked in the Mississippi before the booze broke out, save for the 100 pounder, who refused to get wet. 5 naked guys in the water, so we have the irony enough to call him a fag for not jumping in. His new nickname is Faggot. They decided the need for spreading a rumor that when he got drunk I slipped some date-rape drugs into his medicine and had my way with him all night long. It was pointed out as humorous that he got really pissed off whereas I didn't care in the least.

One of my friends, as pictured with me climbing Hotel Muscatine an entry or two below, enjoys telling Bible stories when drunk. I insisted upon the story of Lot, and he delivered, though he couldn't show any theological insight. I was disapointed. But you know, you can't win them all.
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And how! Sounds like you've had many drinking adventures on a river.
you can't win them all

Such is life.
Give or take.