So, I'm at Wal-mart today, trying to get them to break my 100 dollar bill, as I want to buy a candybar and that's all I had and, get this, they try to give me some toy money back. Ha! Like President Grant would ever be on dollar bill, let alone a 50! Not to mention the bill was half pink and the president was off center. And just look at the Secretary of the Treasury's signature! John W. Snnu? I think not! What a hack job counterfitting operation that casheer runs. It's amazing the Secret Service isn't already on that person's back.
Federal reserve note my ass, so I demanded payment in gold standard. When Wal-mart couldn't back up those dollar bills I resolved to take my business elsewhere. The nerve of some people. I ran over 7 rare and exotic birds on the way home in my frustration.
In other news, I need to call in the hospital today. We all know I won't. I think I'll go gambling on kids that are gambling instead. It's a lost art these days. I go downtown with some of my buddies and find some young children gambling (and smoking, thanks to a few loose cigarettes I pawned off) and then you place bets on which kid you think will win whatever bets the kids are making. If the kid you bet on loses too many times, you usually kick him or throw something at him, so as to frighten him into better gambling practices. This practice helps if you're wearing a velvet hat while loudly reciting the story of the three men looking for buried treasure from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," as well. This is to inspire them to great deeds.
When that's done I'm going to go team up with another friend of mine to go building climbing. It's like mountain climbing, but it involves buildings, not mountains. First we look the part. You simply have to dress up if you're going to be building climbing. Next you need a camera. How else can you prove you've scaled the most impressive buildings in town? Then you look for the tallest structure in town that is a building (this, thus, excludes radio towers) and enter it, looking for a stairwell. We then rush to the top of the building and get on the roof without anyone knowing. When you're at the top, you take serious
pictures of yourself
and your friends
. I wasn't dressed up in these pictures, so it's just my friend, I had to be the camera guy. I got dressed on the roof, but by then it was getting too dark to take pictures, so I got snapped in the lobby.
Hopefully you kiddies will give out building climbing a try and snap me some good photos too.